Kool-Aid Under Investigation By Hittite Descendants!

Did you read those headlines recently?  I’m sure I saw them on some news agency.  If not, let me bring you up to date.  A number of Hittite descendants filed a lawsuit last month against Kool-Aid for trademark infringement.
“How could this be?”  You ask!  It’s very hard to tell you this, but research now shows conclusively that the iconic Kool-Aid Man mascot has its roots in the ancient Hittite community.
Yes, I know that when you research this issue that you’ll hear that Kool-Aid man made his debut in 1954.  But, that’s just not the case.  Further research has shown that Kool-Aid man actually dates back to 1700 B.C..  The actual evidence to support their claim was finally revealed in July, 2017 which led to the descendants to filing their lawsuit in Federal Court.
And if you don’ think they have a case, please allow me to show you the evidence:
There, you can clearly see for yourself that Kool-Aid man is a clear rip-off of an ancient mark that was used in Karkemish, over 3,700 years ago in an ancient Hittite city that is in modern-day Turkey.[1]
I can’t see you, but I’m pretty sure that about now you’re saying to yourself, “Self, I think Carl’s lost his mind!”
That’s probably true, but that’s beside the point.  The reason I wrote that false story, (Yes, believe it or not there is no lawsuit in Federal Court, I made that all up with my over active imagination.) is because I’ve spent the last week working on my Academy of Hope* class called, “What About . . . Human Evolution?” which will be a follow up to the class that is currently available called, “What About . . . Fossils?”
There, you can clearly see for yourself that Kool-Aid man is a clear rip-off of an ancient mark that was used in Karkemish, over 3,700 years ago in an ancient Hittite city that is in modern-day Turkey.[1]
I can’t see you, but I’m pretty sure that about now you’re saying to yourself, “Self, I think Carl’s lost his mind!”
That’s probably true, but that’s beside the point.  The reason I wrote that false story, (Yes, believe it or not there is no lawsuit in Federal Court, I made that all up with my over active imagination.) is because I’ve spent the last week working on my Academy of Hope* class called, “What About . . . Human Evolution?” which will be a follow up to the class that is currently available called, “What About . . . Fossils?”
Let me see if I can make the connection for you.  Let’s just take one ancestor, Ardipithecus kadabba.
The question is, what was the actual evidence that was found and does it support the very cool artwork that you see above?
I’m going to say to you when we look at evidence, we can make it fit whatever we want it to fit.  We can look at that 1,700 year old jar and argue that the designers of “Smiley Face” or “Kool-Aid Man” got their inspiration from that jar.  But, does that make it true?
No, it doesn’t!
Take a look at another reconstruction of Ardipithecus kadabba.
Do we know that’s what it looked like?  No, we don’t.  And truth be told, the evidence doesn’t support what is said about this supposed missing link.
We’re told that it walked upright like humans.  This is one of the most important features in determining if something is an evolutionary ancestor to humans or not.  If it looked like an ape and walked like us, that puts the stamp of approval on it to be in our lineage.
In order to know if something walks upright or not, we really need very specific parts of the body., the hips and the feet being two of the most important.
Fortunately for those that believe in evolution, they found the hips and toe bones of Ardipithecus kadabba.  Or not!  Yes, they found the hip bones and some toe bones.  But did they support the upright walking depiction we’re given?
What condition were the hip bones in when they found them?  Good question!   Let me allow the evolutionists to answer this for you:
“the bones are so soft and crushed that preparing them requires a Herculean effort, says White. The skull is “squished,” he says, “and the bone is so chalky that when I clean an edge it erodes, so I have to mold every one of the broken pieces to reconstruct it.””[2]
That’s not good.  But wait, there’s more, and it gets worse:
“One problem is that some portions of Ardi’s skeleton were found crushed nearly to smithereens and needed extensive digital reconstruction. “Tim [White] showed me pictures of the pelvis in the ground, and it looked like an Irish stew,” says Walker.”[3]
Ouch!  An “Irish Stew”?  But wait, there’s more, and it gets even worse:
“The bones literally crumbled when touched. White called it road kill. And parts of the skeleton had been trampled and scattered into more than 100 fragments; the skull was crushed to 4 centimeters in height.”[4]
Let’s recap.
  1. The evidence was so “chalky” that it eroded whenever it was cleaned.
  2. Because of this they had to take all of the pieces and make a copy of the pieces so they could work with them.
  3. The hips looked like an “Iris h Stew” because they were so badly damaged.
  4. The bones crumbled when touched.
  5. The bones had been broken into more than 100 fragments.
From this we know this thing walked upright?  Oh wait, I forgot, they have the toe bone as well.  That would make up for the poor condition of the other bones, right?
Truth be told, the toe bone did in fact appear to have human characteristics.  That’s a bad thing for those of us that don’t believe that man evolved from an ape-like ancestor.
Not so fast!  Let’s dig just a little bit more on the toe bone.  (No pun intended!)  When you do that you’ll find something out that is very interesting.
The toe bone wasn’t even found with the rest of the “chalky”, “squished”, “trampled”, “crushed” etc. pieces.  It was actually found in another dig site that was quite a distance away from the other bones.  Read for yourself:
“There is some concern over the classification of the toe bone to this species, as it was found 15 kilometres away from the other fossils and is younger in age.”[5]
But wait . . .   Sorry, I’ve done that to you too many times, I’ll stop.  But it is worse!  The bones aren’t even dated, using their methods, to the same date.  Look:
“The fossils—which also included hand and foot bones, partial arm bones, and a clavicle (collarbone)—were dated to 5.6–5.8 million years old. One of the specimens, a toe bone, is dated to 5.2 million years old; this fossil has features of bipedal walking.”[6]
So, let me recap again!
  1. The toe bone did have human features.
  2. But it was found over 9 miles away from the rest of the bones.
  3. The toe was 400,00 – 600,000 years YOUNGER than the rest of the bones!
And this proves . . . what?  That you can look at some finger painting on a jar and file a lawsuit again Kool-Aid for copyright infringement.
No, let me give you one last secular quote:
“Indeed, looking at the evidence, different paleoanthropologists may have different interpretations of how Ardi moved or what she reveals about the last common ancestor of humans and chimps.”[6]
Different interpretation indeed.  How about this, this was simply bones of apes and humans that were found, put together even though they didn’t belong together, and a story told about it with really good visuals to make it seem right!
Maybe it’s just me, but the more I dig, the more I see deception all around us.  Parent, please consider taking our Academy of Hope* classes WITH your child.  Converse with them, show them they don’t need to be afraid of this silliness.
Most of all, Stay Bold!
Carl Kerby
P.S. – Thanks to my Sunday School teacher Steve Rawlings for bringing this picture to my attention.  Stay tuned, Steve has a class that we’ll be putting on Academy of Hope* as well.  He’ll teach you to look at things like a lawyer!
[2] http://science.sciencemag.org/content/295/5558/1214.full
[3] http://content.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1927289-2,00.html
[4] http://science.sciencemag.org/content/326/5949/36
[5] https://australianmuseum.net.au/ardipithecus-kadabba
[6] http://humanorigins.si.edu/evidence/human-fossils/species/ardipithecus-kadabba
[7] http://content.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1927289-2,00.html
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