A Testimony of Grace

April 4th, 2025

One of the most powerful ways to witness the miraculous work of Jesus Christ in our current culture is to share what He is doing in lives today―events that can only be described as interventions of God beyond our understanding. In today’s blog, Brian Miller does just that by sharing a friend’s testimony of the amazing, transformative work of God in his life―while in prison, no less.

A Childhood Connection

This week, I’d like to share the testimony of my friend Chris. A few years younger than me, Chris attended church and was taught about Jesus in his formative years. He spent a few weeks living with us one summer when we were young teens, and we grew up playing a lot of basketball together as teenagers and young adults.

He had a younger brother who shared my first name (but not the spelling), and along with my brother, the four of us played a 3-on-3 hoops tournament together 25 years ago. Fond memories, for sure. Chris was always a nice kid, friendly and outgoing, but like me, he got lost along the way as the years passed, and sin and the cares of this world began to choke out the truth he had been taught.

Chris tragically lost his brother, Bryan, just over 24 years ago. When I lost my little brother Jon a few years later, Chris was one of the few friends who could identify with the pain of such a loss. Over the years, Chris and I would occasionally talk and bump into each other sporadically. Although we weren’t close, we never lost touch. Last summer, he reached out to me, trying to recall a song that reminded him of his brother.

Our next conversation took place with him sitting in a jail cell. At this point, his story likely sounds terrible and tragic. In February, a sheriff’s deputy handed me four handwritten pages that Chris wanted me to have during a visit to the jail where he is being held. I visited him through a phone receiver separated by thick glass. This is when I say that, but for the grace of God, our situations could be reversed.

A Story of Redemption

Here is his raw, graphic testimony of the astounding grace of Jesus:

I’m alone. No one sees the broken heart inside of me. [I’m] surrounded by people every day. [But] my heart forever fades alone and lost, hoping someone sees what’s going on inside of me. My lips tell daily lies, my eyes can’t hide. I’m not OK. I’m not fine, but I’m trying every day. [I’m] too proud to ask for help and ashamed for people to see I’m not the man I used to be. Fake smiles and head nods, but no one sees that I haven’t looked them in the eye. It’s been forever – this isn’t me. [I’m] broke down and beaten and lost as hell!! I dig deeper in my own despair, filled with alcohol and drugs to numb what was already numb.

Evil was attacking me day and night and closing my heart off even more. I woke up one night sore from being blackout drunk again. [I was] behind a dumpster from being mugged – I think, I’m not sure. Two guys were [urinating] on me, laughing away, and I was so low [that] the only thing that bothered me was they took my hat – my hat was gone. I walked around for days, I think, in a daze in my [urine-soaked] clothes in 100-degree heat with nothing but my own death on my mind and how it was time for the end. I had tried twice but failed; this next time, I was determined not to fail.

I had found a place after wandering around in my daze. I passed out finally under a bush, staring at what I thought was the place of my last breaths. When I woke, I was not feeling anything but “it’s time!” But something forced me to find a way to get ahold of my mom. I didn’t want to at all – I was done – but something else had control on me and made me call! That call saved my life, not that I could see that then or anytime soon after that. I was turned in and arrested; for what – that is for a different time to tell.

The devil had hold of me. I didn’t know it at the time fully, but one night I even asked him for help to end [my] life. ‘Help me out,’ I cried to him. “You have me; why not take me?” I was lower than low and lost, and he had a hold of me.

From that night on, for weeks when I closed my eyes, I would see darkness [but] in the distance, a figure surrounded by light, night after night. Finally, after weeks of this, I started to pray to God for the first time to take this darkness out of me and replace it with [His] light. [I would pray this] more times than I could remember nightly until one night I prayed this seeing the figure like I had been seeing when my chest was lifted off the bed, and all my burdens, all my sadness and guilt and shame, all the things that weighed me down had been lifted off me! I fell back down in disbelief and could not talk. When I woke in the morning, I was in disbelief [still]. What happened? Was it real? Was it my meds? Was I going crazier than I already felt?

But it was real. It happened. God’s grace and mercy came upon me. There was no grand gesture, just a gentle touch I couldn’t explain … He let me know His grace was always [there] for me, [but] I was too blind to see or feel it. I finally submitted my will and pain over to Him, and in the blink of an eye, He gave me a new heart and the ability to see clearly for the first time in my life. I began to see … and feel undying love that I had longed for my whole life. If only I could have seen earlier! But we can’t do what-ifs; we can only look back and reflect how we didn’t have God in our lives. We can only move forward and start to live with Him in our hearts, spreading His love and grace.

I have no reason to numb myself anymore. I’m free, my chains are gone, and my spirit and heart are free for the first time. I want others to feel what I feel―this peace and grace I don’t deserve but have. But it’s hard for the blind to see as I see now. I was them, [and] it took being brought [to] the lowest of the low to see that my selfishness and self-righteousness and self-will [were what] kept me lost.

I used to think I was good, but I wasn’t even close. I was a sinner. We all are from birth ’til death, but a new light guides me and makes me strong spiritually, mentally, and soulfully. All I want is to help others open their eyes and stop hurting themselves and others. Jesus wrapped me in His grace, [and He will never let me go] … I [want] to help others to see that it’s right in front of you, next to you, completely around you, and help them get out of their own way. [Sometimes] I am guided to say things they don’t want to hear but need … to spread His grace. God broke me down so I could see every single plank I had [Matthew 7:3–4], so that I could see clearly. There is no judgment on others―[I’m] just called to help the blind to see like he did for me.

My story is just beginning with my new heart. Where it will take me, I do not know, but I’m no longer scared or at war with myself or others. I have eternal peace. I’m no longer blind!

Chris has been reading and re-reading his Bible and has started a Bible study with other inmates. It has been a great blessing to see the work of Jesus in his heart and life, as well as the purpose and peace he now has, along with the personal responsibility he has taken on.

Romans 5:20b [KJV]
Where sin abounded, grace did much more abound.

Chris would appreciate prayers for his three children, for his mom’s recovery from recent, invasive surgery, and for the rest of his family, as well as for grace for those he wronged in the past. He exudes gratitude for his rescue, for the grace he has been gifted every time I talk to him.

A Call to Respond

A guest speaker at our church on Sunday discussed that there are lost individuals who fill the pews of every church weekly, those who are aware of Christ (like Chris was) but do not genuinely know Jesus. The question that needs to be asked is this: Is that you? Are you merely a professor or truly a possessor?

Shortly after that sermon, I received a message from a friend about a mutual friend who had passed away overnight. I had shared the Gospel with him, but I’m not sure if he ever responded to Jesus. It’s heartbreaking to think about.

If you’re delaying or putting off the decision, be aware of just how dangerous sin is, how treacherous and deceitful our hearts are, and that there is a roaring lion who seeks to destroy as many of God’s image-bearers as possible. But for His grace, Chris would have been destroyed, and so would I.

Consider 2 Corinthians 6:2 [NLT]: For God says,

“At just the right time, I heard you. On the day of salvation, I helped you.”

Indeed, the “right time” is now. Today is the day of salvation.

Author Bio:
Brian Miller is a longtime newspaper columnist and freelance writer. He and his wife Bethany, a fellow “preacher’s kid,” are currently residing on South Padre Island, TX. Brian seeks to use lessons learned in his life of God’s unchanging love, grace, mercy, and faithfulness to bring hope to others who may be struggling. You may write to him at bd1976@pm.me.